Retro Telstar 5th Edition: Photographs Stripped from Books

(pub. February 14, 2004)

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Retro Telstar 5th Edition: Photographs Stripped from Books

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“Retro Telstar” is a series that sifts through piles of archived articles from previous issues of the Telstar newspaper and unveils the most witty, the most archaic, and the most relevant. The series features weekly installments in its quest to connect current students with the Scorpions of the past.
Satellite in 2004 was the equivalent of the wild, wild, west. Classified books featuring photography of unclothed statues. Said photographs being ripped from the glossed pages of the books. Oh, the humanity.  Below is a student’s dissertation on the implications of this heinous crime.  The author suggests that students feed their need to steal outside of school while simultaneously diminishing the culprit to a petty thief. Thankfully, we can report thirteen years later that Satellite High School has not devolved into a society of cave men.


Attention peers: a perverted teenager with no concern for public property, or Satellite for that matter, tore pages from a new art book.

The world as you know it is about to end. Apparently stupid people have overcome all reason and we will soon be living as cave men.

Recently, a student taking a journalism class was permitted to look at a very expensive photography book. Only teachers are allowed to check out this book, because it’s far too expensive to replace, if damaged or stolen.

After the book was no longer needed, it was returned to the media center. Soon after, a media specialist called the teacher because pages of unclothed statues and figures had been ripped from the book.

Now the art book is incomplete. Why was it necessary to possess the coveted pictures? The thief obviously has no fear of consequence, so he sees no problem in stealing from the local library.

The crude and perverse tone of today’s youth is overwhelming. Teenagers have zero respect for themselves or their community. This lack of morality enables people to stoop to an all time low.

Art holds no value to most and it’s sad that students can rip photographs from their books with no remorse. Honestly, that person will probably throw the photos away or lose them.

So why not satisfy your need to steal outside of school? It is an awkward to commit in class.

Staring as such pictures is a sad waste of time. Instead of bettering one’s self or others you are selfishly absorbed in petty pleasures. Do something more constructive with your time.

Search the Internet or a magazine stand, but please stop vandalizing school property.

But the truth is the crime was done out of convenience. The thief is setting a horrible example for the rest of our peers.

Stealing is a pointless crime, especially from a service like the library that allows you to use the item for free.