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Senior Wills

Scorpion Seniors and Their Legacies

Photo+courtesy+Sara+Shamlin
Photo courtesy Sara Shamlin

Photo courtesy Sara Shamlin

Photo courtesy Sara Shamlin

Sara Shamlin

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I, David Benne, leave behind my first 14 children in the hopes that they can repopulate Satellite Beach with a generation of tall German children.

I, Trevor Kattenberg, leave behind my tennis skills to John Williams in the hope that he may find them useful.

I, Anna Vill, leave all of my possessions to Randy Jackson.

I, Michael Wilson leave behind my good looks and muscle to the underclassmen cross country runners.

I, Cassie Ellison, leave my parking spot to whoever will wake up early enough to take it. I also leave my senioritis to all up incoming seniors.

I, Avery Higham, will the underclassman the understanding that these are just four years of your life and soon you will look back and barley remember it.

I, Martin Darcy James Wilson, Imperator Augustus, leave my memory in the care of myth and folktale spread by those teachers I have studied under these four years, and bequeath my legacy of merciless truth to he or she who next arrives, be it a decade or a millennium, worthy of its pedigree and the venerable title of “That Pompous, Narcissistic, Self-Righteous Jerk.”

I, Aaron Johnson, will my British citizenship to Mrs. Dipeppe.

I, Sophie Ewh, will everything to myself, because I am not dying, just graduating.

I, Spencer Boone, leave behind my weight belt, in hopes that at least some kids will get big.

I, Ryker Christensen leave the school lunch food to the underclass men.

I, Madeline Parry, leave behind endless amounts of bagels to the girls cross country team, my Chacos to Ashley and Bri Basford, and my undercut to Sara Towers and Isabelle Combs. But most of all, I will secret varsity parties to Nicole Janders.

I, Egan Kattenberg, leave behind my supply of fake cheese and mustard to Emma Logue, I leave the most sociable title on the cross country team to Rahul Koshy along with plenty of curry, I leave behind my art skills to Brianna Basford in hopes that her Einstein may one day compare to mine, I leave Trenton Korte, Chase to drive to Wickham park everyday, and finally I leave my pickle ball skills to Anique in hopes that she could one day become adequate.

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