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It’s a Plane, it’s a Bird, No it’s an Evil Government-Created Black Helicopter

Menaces+on+the+horizon
Menaces on the horizon

Menaces on the horizon

Photo Credit Wikimedia Commons

Photo Credit Wikimedia Commons

Menaces on the horizon

Emilio Zipf and Ashley Basford

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A SATIRE Article Featuring: Black Helicopters

I’m sure you, along with most normal people think about the United Nations’ mission to take away our rights and destroy our freedoms. After all, it is common knowledge. Spearheading the liberation from freedom campaign are “black helicopters”. Immune to radar, and terrorizing law-abiding citizens, they swoop at dangerously low altitudes of only thousands of feet to remind Americans that they actually have no rights, and disprove conspiracists who believe in the basic human rights or something ridiculous.

These black or phantom helicopters are associated with both UFO activity and the New World Order, but are always unmarked unlike normal, innocent helicopters.“Black helicopters without FAA-required running lights are regularly used by the drug interdiction office DEA,” states the official Urban Dictionary. These helicopters are usually painted in very dark chocolate or olive paint to camouflage themselves in order to get information secretly. Even former president Barack Obama admits their existence. He once revealed, “There are black helicopters, but we generally don’t deploy them on U.S. soil.” But who believes that the New World Order could resist the opportunity to release these menaces on the American people. After all the world’s most powerful nation is the greatest threat to the impending New World Order takeover.

To cover up their obvious abuses towards the world’s people and protect the New World Order, the United States government has provided many so-called “explanations” for black helicopters. They claim that these helicopters are used for practice exercises across the country, including over populated areas, including large cities. They insist that citizens who alert the public to the real dangers of black helicopters are simply misguided, and overreacting to normal military activities. But it’s a mystery why the government practices military procedures over large cities, it seems like an unnecessary risk for a normal military activity. With all other alternatives ruled out, the only explanation left is they are training under the authority of the New World Order.

These devious helicopters are not always what you would imagine. They can be, in fact, autonomous agents -lifeforms -created by New World Order (NWO) agencies via nano-biotechnology. The question is why would the NWO want or need this information and how would it help them? Well here is your answer. Their purpose is to “spy on the activities of average citizens in order to gather tactical information and discover “subversives” who are not bowing to the will of the Liberati’s UN-backed Federal Government (Zapatopi).”  So basically they are putting these black helicopters in our food so that we will ingest them and then use the information they find on us to create the ultimate NWO invasion. It is also said that in the not-too-distant future, the NWO will round up citizens and place them in concentration camps and kill them off one by one who are unwilling to conform. It is not unreasonable to believe that a New World Order could mass produce miniature surveillance devices, plant them in our food, with the intent of enslaving us.

Jim Keith, deceased novelist and expert in black helicopters, wrote an epic piece called Black Helicopters over America: Strikeforce for the New World Order that not only inspired the young people of America to search for the truth, but provided a solidified, reliable way to get information on this growing problem. “I am not willing to absolutely rule out the possibility that some of these sightings of black helicopters might have something to do with UFOs of the truly alien variety… but it is quite possible that the government is also spreading stories of flying saucers in order to confuse what is actually taking place” states Keith on page 53 of his released novel on January 1st, 1995. Jim Keith died at Washoe Medical Hospital on September 7, 1999, during surgery to repair a broken knee he suffered after falling off the stage at the Burning Man Festival in Black Rock, Nevada. After hearing from Keith’s close friend, Keith was extremely worried before he was admitted to hospital, and had confided to his friend that he was afraid he would never be released alive. Doctors claimed that a “blood clot” was released during the surgery and travelled to the heart, causing a pulmonary edema; however, was it a “blood clot” or the black helicopters inside him that caused his death? We might never know…

K.E. Badger, another professional investigator on the New World Order, states “on one occasion I did see one of these black helicopters flying east from Kansas City MO along I-70 and I followed it to Whiteman AFB in Knob Noster MO.” this not only shows that the theory is believed in, but that it is true.

So next time you go to eat McDonalds, Chick-Fil-A, even Subway, you should think about what the government could be doing behind the scenes and putting in the food and if you have not already been infected, you should be careful because the government will not stop for anything or anyone.

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It’s a Plane, it’s a Bird, No it’s an Evil Government-Created Black Helicopter